what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
