You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your cock deserves a montage
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
