you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
