So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Redeem this text for a blowjob
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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