Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
