Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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