I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
