I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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