You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
