Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
