Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
