Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I cannot find my penis.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
