well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
