she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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