last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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