I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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