Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
