shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
