oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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