I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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