Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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