Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
