you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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