hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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