OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
