now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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