Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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