Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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