i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
