I want to make a zoo with you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
