I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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