well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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