Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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