I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
