Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
