Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love you.
Bad choice
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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