Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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