I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
