He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
