worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize