I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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