I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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