Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
