...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
