Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
