please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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