sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
