I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
tell me about the fingering
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