I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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