I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
