Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
