my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
