If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
