And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You smell like stripper and shame
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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