So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
