You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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